"Dear Jim."
"I am to be shot at sunrise to-morrow. So
if I am to keep at all my promise to tell you everything,
I must keep it now. But, after all, there is
not much need of explanations between you and
me. We always understood each other without
many words, even when we were little things.
"And so, you see, my dear, you had no need to
break your heart over that old story of the blow.
It was a hard hit, of course; but I have had plenty
of others as hard, and yet I have managed to get
over them,--even to pay back a few of them,--and
here I am still, like the mackerel in our nursery-book
(I forget its name), 'Alive and kicking,
oh!' This is my last kick, though; and then, to-morrow
morning, and--'Finita la Commedia!'
You and I will translate that: 'The variety show
is over'; and will give thanks to the gods that
they have had, at least, so much mercy on us. It
is not much, but it is something; and for this and
all other blessings may we be truly thankful!
"About that same to-morrow morning, I want
both you and Martini to understand clearly that
I am quite happy and satisfied, and could ask
no better thing of Fate. Tell that to Martini
as a message from me; he is a good fellow and a
good comrade, and he will understand. You see,
dear, I know that the stick-in-the-mud people are
doing us a good turn and themselves a bad one
by going back to secret trials and executions so
soon, and I know that if you who are left stand
together steadily and hit hard, you will see great
things. As for me, I shall go out into the courtyard
with as light a heart as any child starting
home for the holidays. I have done my share of
the work, and this death-sentence is the proof that
I have done it thoroughly. They kill me because
they are afraid of me; and what more can any man's
heart desire?
"It desires just one thing more, though. A man
who is going to die has a right to a personal fancy,
and mine is that you should see why I have always
been such a sulky brute to you, and so slow to forget
old scores. Of course, though, you understand
why, and I tell you only for the pleasure of
writing the words. I loved you, Gemma, when you
were an ugly little girl in a gingham frock, with a
scratchy tucker and your hair in a pig-tail down
your back; and I love you still. Do you remember
that day when I kissed your hand, and when
you so piteously begged me 'never to do that
again'? It was a scoundrelly trick to play, I know;
but you must forgive that; and now I kiss the
paper where I have written your name. So I have
kissed you twice, and both times without your
consent.
"That is all. Good-bye, my dear."
There was no signature, but a verse which they
had learned together as children was written
under the letter:
"Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live
Or if I die."
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